I'm all for spanking- the study about it making kids more agressive & increasing mental illness is pure bunk!

I wish corporal punishment is brought back to the schools- when they had it, the crimes kids committed were hardly anything. Now, crime, detentions, suspensions & expulsions have only increased, not to mention having security guards in the schools.

The best behaved & disciplined kids I've ever seen are the home/life school kids & those kids from other countries where corporal punishment is still practiced in their schools (I have a friend who was a teacher in the Philippines. She refuses to teach here in the States because corporal punishment is banned here).

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I agree that spanking is not the ideal way to deal with behavior problems in children. You want your children to respect you not fear you. There is no substitute for setting firm limits that come with consequences and for modeling good behavior.

Statistics suggest that a large majority of parents do spank their kids. I spanked my kids on a few occasions out of frustration and desperation but those occasions were rare. We're human and I can understand why parents spank, yell and engage in other less than constructive behavior. Just don't try to raise it to the level of a virtue.

I think the problem with the kids today is that parents do not take the time to discipline them or to spank them. A lot of them are out of control and do not have any respect. I believe that spanking them and disciplining them teaches not only there are consequences for mis-behaving, but teaches them that they need to obey and respect. Spanking DOESN'T cause them to fear parents, but puts fear in them that they better do good and obey or there will be consequences. The bible teaches that Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child, but the rod of correction draws if far from them. Its time for parents to be parents and start teaching their child what is right and what is wrong. How will they learn if they are not taught. Spanking their bottom will not hurt them, but it will get them to think about what they are doing. I have 2 kids, one I only spanked maybe 2 times the other a little more. It really depends on the child. My kids are teen now and are great kids. No problems here. and oh, they don't fear me, but love and respect me.

Let's trade the word spanking for pain. I have raised five kids and trained horses and birddogs. For this example lets look at spurs. When you "tickle" (read slight pain) that horse with your spur he wants to quickly move away from that. So, with that tickle you associate another signal...tickle left...pressure left...rein left...get the idea. Very soon then you take away the spur ! Even with the pain gone the horse responds and you go forward as a team. Too much spur/pain and you sour the horse and have to work very,very hard to undo the damage. Point being made is that proper "spanking" is an art. Another good example...never keep calling a dog when he is running away from you, All you are teaching him is he does not have to come when called. There are times when I think we should read more about dog and horse training and think long and hard about those principals. They just might work better than all that fancy highbrow stuff we get spoon fed in mommie magazines and on DR. Phil. Before I get a lot of flack, let me just add...if you can't train your dog to ask to go out to do his duty...don't spank your kid. All of us aren't good trainers.

Kids are basically the same as animals. Adult logic doesn't work very well, but the concepts of punishment and reinforcement do. You catch them doing well and make positive emotional associations with it.

Punishment is the same with animals as kids...make it swift, effective (i.e. it ACTUALLY stops the behavior), administer only when YOU are in control and not angry, hold no grudges, and immediately reward the change in unwanted behavior.

As with animals too, the proof is in the result. You can't B.S. either one or be inconsisent. You can't ignore your dog in private (i.e. not put in the time training) and expect it to behave in public. Likewise with kids. If you're an inconsistent, out-of-control parent in private and just expect the kid to shape-up in public, you're not going to get very far....and kid is going to identify that hypocrisy and resent the hell out of it once he grows up and can articulate it..

Basically, kids aren't punching bags. Spanking should not be YOUR stress relief when YOU get mad.

Are each and every one of you crazy?? Any way you want to justify this, spanking can't be your best choice. Children act and react based purely on emotion and instinct and do not possess the ability or maturity to understand or control their behavior in certain situations. Given this fact, you think striking a human in your care in an attempt to correct behavior they may not understand will be a POSITIVE thing?? Respect is a two way street. To teach one to respect, and earn respect, one must show respect. There's a way to properly raise respectful, well mannered children by validating who they are, not demeaning their existence, and punishing then for reacting the only way they may know how. If you think your child is out of control, maybe it's really their parent that is out of control!

Since I tell my children not to hit each other, I'm not sure how I would be able to justify using my hand or anything else to purposely inflict pain and fear. Seems rather ridiculous to me. On the other hand, people yelling and screaming at their children while proclaiming that they are wonderful because they don't spank, isn't any better.

My father once told me that when you discipline in anger, it never works, period. Wise man.

I was raised in the time when teachers were allowed to use pain to get their point across. I was the subject of this type of discipline only once. ItI resembled a public flogging. The teacher used a 2" wide belt doubled over and he administered it with a full swing. Four hits. Even though I may have deserved correcting, I did not agree with the method. For the same offense,(ditching class) another teacher kept me after school and made me write a 10,000 word essay. That was more effective because at the conclusion of the writing, he dumped it in the garbage can. My mother was blessed with 6 sons and one daughter. My dad drove truck over the road. She used a short piece of dowel rod to get our attention. ( Across the back of the upper legs.) Choice and accountability. We knew the boundaries. I don't ever remember ill feelings toward my Mom. I don't think I have mental illness either. None of my siblings have any lasting effect of her correction. Spanking is not beating. I've seen beating, and that is just wrong. Thanks for reading.

Spanking is NOT a terrible thing. Beating and leaving marks is. We had to spank our child when she was little when her life was in danger (running into street etc). She quickly stopped doing that, so not a bad thing. She is in elementary school now and our child is very happy, respectful and follows the rules. We haven't had to spank in a few years. We do however at times raise our voice to correct, but what parent doesn't. Discipline has to start at the beginning otherwise the child will be out of control and become a problem in society later on. A parent's responsibility for raising and loving a child is staying on top of the child's issues and giving them the needed attention. Too many parent's take the easy street and let the kids run their house, but later blaim the teachers and society for their kid's problems. Take responsibility and parent your kids. If spanking works then do it. If taking away valubles that is important to the kid then do it. Whatever works for you, just don't ignore problem issues. Don't ever take the road "Not my child" "My child would never do that".

I was raised with parents who spanked and I also spanked my daughters on occasion. I can tell you one thing; I was scared to death to get into trouble as a youngster because I knew what was waiting for me when my father got home. Looking back I don't think of it as abuse and I'm not mentally scarred or mentally ill because of it.

I watched my stepson's mom use "time outs" with him while I used good old fashioned spanking on my kids; well, guess who behaved themselves better. All it took was giving my kids "the look" and they knew they better knock off whatever it was they were doing; no words even needed. And neither one of my kids are mentally ill because of it; they're both adults now and one of them is a mother herself.

There is a difference between spanking and abuse. As my kids got older I moved from spanking to grounding/taking away privledges.

I have never spanked any of my two children and they are very well-behaved. Parenting involves decision making and choices and each child is different too. Kids learn differently, and what works as discipline for one may not be effective for another. I don't judge anyone who spanks their children; I know a lot of people who do, and that is their choice as long as it is not excessive. I was spanked as a child and I don't feel mentally scarred from it. And although my decision not to spank was made before I found out, my youngest son has autism. When he was young, he did not speak or understand much of what was said to him. He was at the time a complete visual learner. I could not hit or spank him and expect him not to turn around and do the same to someone else. Just had to redirect, and be creative with ways to teach right from wrong.

Argue all you want but a spanking delivered at the proper time in the proper way has a lot of lasting value. Another example...when a young colt was born we gave it several months to get it's footing and become at home with us and it's environment. Then came a very important lesson. We tenderly laid the colt down in the stall and simply put all our wieght on its upper neck and head area. With this done...the eyes bulge a bit and some panic sets in when the little critter realizes he is helpless to our restraint and cannot get to it's feet. They struggle for a minute and then simply give up in calm. We let them up and reassure them that all going forward is well. What we have done is impressed this little colt who now weighs only a few hundred ponds with our ability to be in control. He never forgets that! And we are thankful that he don't because when he grows up and hits the scales at seventeen hundred pounds he would toss us around like a tennis ball. He forever remembers that early lesson and is a "good boy" for the rest of his time in our barn and part of our family. Early lessons are important!

An appropriately placed hand-on-rear, is a discipline tool. When used too much, too hard, or with out restraint, its abuse. 1-2-3 counting does not work all kids...timeouts don't work either. Sometimes one has to use a hand. Each child (and parent) is different.

Why do so many of you compare children to animals? I find that disturbing, spanking argument notwithstanding.

The vast majority of most people's experience with animals is through eating them, followed by using them as househould entertainment and/or manual labor.

Curses. Now I'm reminded that I forgot to take those pork chops out of the freezer for dinner...

My father was disciplined in such extreme ways I would call it child abuse. Yes he spanked us but i never felt unloved. My father despite his childhood still loved his father and I can honestly say that he knew the difference between discipline and abuse. My dad is and was an amazing parent who has been my greatest support throughout my life spankings and all!

Maybe if more parents spanked or other wise bothered to discipline and teach their kids manners--the world would definitely be a better place. Parents these days are just too lazy to bother. Kids today are way out of control. Schools can do nothing for fear of a law suit. If I got in trouble at school the LAST person I wanted to find out about it was my parent! You can not discipline your child in public for fear someone will report you for abuse.
Yes I spanked my children--after a few in the begining all it took was the threat of it. I was never embarassed by their behavior and could take them any where! They are all sucessful, loving, well mannered adults. Nothing is wrong with a well placed swat on the back side.

Just LOVE it when you see the mom in the store telling little Johnny for the 3rd time if he does not listen....he will be put in time out......Also love watching a parent put the kid in time out only to have the kid turn around and smack or hit the parent!! makes me laugh everytime!

Maybe we can all agree that kids as well as parents are different. Some kids need spanking to get a positive response and some don't. Some parents are good "trainers" and some not. So, we have all these combinations and to be sure a good trainer may not have a kid that needs all that much training. Some wonder why their kids behave better at gramdma's house than they do at home...answer, better trainers. So, it would seem that all sides of this issue are correct...if your kid needs his dupa whacked do it and it's ok. If your kid self punishes as some do...don't bother whacking him.

My child is 18. On the honor roll. Doesn't drink or do drugs. Is on his way to college on a sports and academic scholarship. He is well-respected by his coaches, teachers and teammates. He was spanked. Not often. Not out of frustration. Never in front of people. Never with raised voices or anger. Never more than a couple swats. And only when all other methods had failed. He is not mentally ill, he is well-adjusted and prepared for life. He knows about consequences. I follow many of his friends on twitter and facebook - I see who is getting drunk, going to "bangers", and I know who in his circle smoke pot on a regular basis. Most of them were not spanked. You can keep your study - discipline is important. Children who don't know the boundaries in your home, won't respect them when they are away from you. There is a major difference between spanking and hitting. Its too bad most people don't understand that.

Never used my hand, never in again, never without a discussion on why, never without a discussion on how spanks can be avoided, never in front of others, never on the bare bottom. Always forgiveness afterwards and never more than a few swats. And the point is, he isnt mentally ill, he isnt traumatized. Again, its all in the approach of the parent and seeing the value of discipline. Not anger, not frustration. And its not so much about the spanking but the interaction before, during and after. I spanked him just a few times because other forms of discipline corrected his behavior.

*never in anger

Spanking is wrong period

He who spares the rod spoils the child. Just look at todays youth and youll see why spanking is needed. We live in a society that is too sensative to children and parents arent parents anymore. They act like equals or friends to the children rather than authority figures. They give in to the childs every demand and want and then when the childs older when he acts out or shows no respect to them or police or any other authority they act suprised. When todays youth dont want to work, have a sense of entitlement, and dont respect authority or their elders we can only look at the parents and most of the time see why. Sometimes the parents are worse then the kid. Some youth need boot camp or a good spanking. Maybe youth of today would be different if a few more parents did spank instead of spoil.

To each, his own. Sounds like you've got a parenting technique that works for you. As for me I don't go through all the drama of what you do. I'm always amused by the parent in public who's trying to dominate their child by counting or giving them the look or threatening them with not getting some material item. Love and affection is the most important but when the line is crossed a spank brings the realization of " I don't want that ever again!". Along with that drama you referred to, I'd think it teaches bad and undesireable habits. My bro and I were disciplined with spanking, my friends were my wife was, to our knowledge our mental functions are fine, and we all love and respect our parents still.

Spanking is much more emotional abuse than physical. A parent who spanks is not in the best of moods and when the child sees this with the pain involved, the emotional fear of will always be there as 'will mommy or daddy' take it to the next level. Also, there goes the message the parent is trying to convey in this process.

A parent who has established proper authority will never need to spank the child. Yes, after a hard days work, the restaint with the parent may not be there. This is the hard part about being a parent.

My 7 year old daughter looks at a time out as the worse possible thing that could possibly happen to her, including ones that would be short lived. I have established my authority with her, as a parent, and she knows exactly what she could do to lose her liberty. Never have and will never need to spank my children.

If this doesn't convince, read the latest studies on the long term harm spanking does to a child. It's time to stop this short term and lazy way of raising a child when there is a need for discipline and start giving some real guidance, where long term benefits for a child are a result.

Parents nowadays can be charged with battery if they so much as swat their kids.There is always that nosy do gooder who sees a parent disciplining their child and feels it's their duty to notify the police.I'm talking about a light swat not a beating,let's make that clear.I've seen kids with no discipline trample over their parents like a doormat.This is why we have generations of selfish,self- centered,self-serving,entitled brats.

You don't have to teach your kids violence can happen to you if you get smart,lay on the ground and kick your feet,or fight with your elders...A police officer is always willing to taser,shoot,beat them with a batton,then drag them in front of a man that will lock them in a cage for Years at a time or life...Keep telling your self it's just a phase and not correct your kids behavior...Also never talk about your kid like they are not sitting in the room..Kids have a tendency to play the roll...I don't know why he keeps climbing the counter as you sit in the kitchen talking to your friend while you both watch the kid climb....Parent your children..even if they don't like you in the end....You were never friends or should of never been.

Let me say this: I am 14 years old and have no problem with spanking or hand slapping. I was spanked and had my hands slapped when I was little and it made me realize "Hey, these things I do get me spanked. They're bad. I shouldn't do them." I have no mental illness, and actually no problems of any sort. I don't fear either of my parents. I love them, respect them, and our parent-child relationship couldn't be better.

So I am evidence that spanking works and doesn't make your kids hate you. I say go ahead and spank your kids, if you feel that the situation calls for it. If you have found a method that works for you without spanking, then go with that.. If you can amend the situation without spanking, then do that in stead. But spanking is a viable option that works.